"Happy Birthday Angie" by Daze Earth - Just A Bit More Decoration Please.

I just finished reading "Happy Birthday, Angie" by Daze Earth, at the BDSM Library.


Story Codes: F+/f spanking D/s reluctant humiliation Forced Heavy Synopsis: Angela's birthday party goes horribly wrong despite her meticulous, yet poor planning. No one turns up for the party except Nikki and Tamara who weren't originally on the guest list. The two beautiful and mischievous sisters take control of Angela and soon the birthday girl finds herself stripped down to her birthday suit. The sisters invite their friends over and the party kicks off. Having fun at Angela's expense becomes the name of the game as the girls tease, humiliate and finally fuck the unhappy birthday girl. 

Generally when I read a BDSM erotica story, I find myself rooting for the antagonist, rather than the protagonist.  It's quite simple really.  BDSM erotica is DESIGNED that way, thus creating a rather intense fantasy in which the reader insinuates themselves into the story, even if it is only as an inactive observer.  Occasionally though, I end up feeling sorry for the victim of whatever perverted fantasy I'm working my way through, and such was the case for poor Angie Pangie in "Happy Birthday, Angie." 

First of all, let me say that I was quite impressed with the WRITING ability demonstrated in this story.  Sentence structure was phenomenal, with compound sentences adding depth and complexity, no errors that I saw, and a decent vocabulary that kept me engaged and not put off.  Mastering these skills is no mean feat and for a free story at the BDSM Library, is quite refreshing.  

In the story, stuck up and un-loved Angela is throwing her OWN birthday party, which might just be the perfect example of what's wrong with this girl.  She's bought her own exotic party foods, decorated the place herself, and generally done all of this without confirming a single RSVP first.  As it turns out, none, and I do mean NONE, of her friends are able to come to the party.  Why?  There is ANOTHER party going on.  Some friends.  Nothing is every implied or said, but I can't help thinking that the antagonists of this story, Tamara and her sister Nikki are involved some how.

Tamara and Nikki show up however and using a combination of quick wits and Angie's submissive cluelessness, they manage to strip her naked, abuse her, humiliate her, and then in a per-arranged set up, have a whole group of THEIR friends arrive.  Angie, who has the will power of a doughnut addict, allows herself to be paraded around naked, spanked, and eventually butt fucked with a dildo before spending the rest of the evening on her parent's bed, screwed in every hole by a cadre of sadistic girls.

Yep.

The story, despite it's short length, comes in three parts, which separates the main plot developments nicely.  Most importantly, the sexual tension in the story progresses smoothly from the introduction of Nikki and Tamara, all the way through to the end, with greater sexual mayhem at the climax.  I found the climax (a pin the tale in the donkey game) rather fun, but felt that the resolution was rushed.  In fact, the entire night's culmination of being gang raped by a group of girls with strap-on dildos seemed more interesting.  Did Angie Pangie enjoy her evening?  Did she cum?  Is the taste of another girl's sex still on her tongue?  Instead of these questions being answered, Angela is left asleep in the center of the bed.

The only character vividly described in "Happy Birthday, Angie" was of course Angela herself.  The other characters, including Tamara, who is arguably the second main character, are rather two dimensional.  For a moment, Nikki's revelation that Angela was her Sunday School teacher eight or so years prior gives a glimmer of motive and depth, but it is quickly lost as Nikki's sister Tamara takes the lead in abusing Angela.  The other descriptions provided are of action only, leaving the other "girls" involved nothing but figments of the reader's imagination.  Angela's residence must be stark and gray with the exception of the party decorations, because nothing else is described.  Hell, the author doesn't even provide an explanation for the person sized cardboard box in the backyard.  Did Angela just buy a new refrigerator or washer for her parents?  Who the hell keeps huge cardboard boxes in their backyard just in case they need a place to hide?  I also think the author wasted an opportunity with such a wide variety of other girls at the party.  Each one could have been introduced by Tamara and Nikki, only to inflict some personal and degrading sexual torture on Angela.  It would have been fun.

In summary, "Happy Birthday, Angie" had a lot to offer as a short story.  I feel like an appropriate metaphor would be that of a blacksmith forging a sword.  In this case, the sword is perfectly functional, sharp and nicely balanced.  But like the story itself, this sword is straight and too the point, with little adornment besides the wickedly edged tip.  While Daze Earth has done a good job with Angela and her party, I think a bit more decoration would serve us well.

Read "Happy Birthday, Angie" by Daze Earth here!