Recently I read through Madison McLean's story "Doctoral Discipline" posted for free on the BDSM Library.
Story Codes: no codes by author Synopsis: a young graduate student learns a lot about her professor (and herself) after her grades start to slip
Who IS this girl?
Since this is Ms. McLean's first story posted to the BDSM Library, I want to take a moment to point out some good things, and some areas to work on.
First of all, let's talk about plot. As fellow reviewer JimmyJump commented, this classic plot has been literally done to death. However I hold that a quality author can always make even an old tired plot sing provided they have the chops to bring something special to the scenario. In Doctoral Discipline, nothing specific stood out to make this rise above the hordes of other "schoolgirl gets blackmailed into sexual abuse by their teacher" stories. Add something original, something with pizazz that brings your story to life.
One thing that was well done was the sexual tension progression within the story. It was gradual and moved nicely, though there didn't seem to be a definitive climax since the spanking scene at the end was rather brief. The resolution (or should I say cliffhanger?) obviously sets up part two, or additional chapters, which means this is a serial story, something I detest. Writing serials is a difficult proposition for most authors. You can't just write a quarter of a story, post it, and expect your readers to enjoy. Timing is crucial. Like episodic television, serials must have an overall arc, spanning the entire tale, while each individual "episode" or "part" must carry that plot as well as be a self-contained story as well.
Ms. McLean's grammar was relatively decent, with no major mistakes. I'd brush up on comma use, especially around quotation dialog, and watch my compound sentences, since they tended toward being run-ons.
Now let's talk about character construction. Professor Matthews was relatively two dimensional, with little to no depth. This was probably intentional as we get further glimpses into his perverted and disturbing psyche as the story progresses. However, the character "Madison McLean" (yes, the author wrote HERSELF into the story), has much more depth. Yet despite this, her behavior horribly confused me. At first, I expected to get some sort of explanation for her sleeping in class. She admittedly is a good student, won a scholarship, and yet for some reason can't seem to stay awake in lipid biochemistry. At the graduate level. So what's going on? Madison then goes on to agree to Professor Matthew's "extra credit" requirements without even TRYING to explain. Madison's attitude becomes even stranger when she arrives for her first session - remember she's usually a straight A student, a scholarship recipient, and is just having trouble with this one class, right? - And has trouble accepting Professor Matthew's dress code and corporal punishment rules. After a brief, and I do mean extremely brief objection, Madison suddenly becomes totally subservient on a level that even the most submissive women dream of. Seriously, other than a failing grade, Matthews has NOTHING on this girl. Why is she yielding? She could turn right back around, pull out her cell phone, take pictures of the clothes and the paddle and Matthews, storm out, go straight to the Dean, and say that Matthews was manipulating her grade in order to force her to serve some sort of sick sexual fantasy of his. Trust me, she'd be making a good grade in minutes as the University tried to hush THAT up. But hey, maybe Madison isn't as smart as she thinks she is. Or maybe Madison is academically intelligent, but when it comes to real life and common sense, she's been a little short changed in the brains department. Or heck, maybe secretly, deep down inside, despite the fact she's a graduate student (meaning well over 19 years old), she secretly longs to be a little school girl and to be spanked by her teacher. Um... I have trouble believing that. In any event, Madison's behavior is not just troubling, it's odd. The author's description of the girl does NOT match her behavior and that just sets my teeth on edge.
To be honest, and clued in by the fact that the main character and the author share a name, I'm guessing this story is a fantasy the author has frequently wished she could experience. She slipped quite a bit into the role, moving the character quickly into the desired action, and not making it real clear what motivated the fictional Madison to follow the author's heart. I don't think this is a bad thing. Hell, I've written myself into one or two stories here and there, but authors have to remember that when you post your story, it means you have an audience larger than one. I think Madison McLean has the chops to write some decent erotica once she starts thinking beyond the fantasy.
Read "Doctoral Discipline"by Madison McLean
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