Review: Sarah's Adventure by Sarah Scott

Story Codes: M/f F/f F+/f enema exhibition Young spanking toys Swallowing Tit Torture D/s B/D S/M BDSM feet slavery bondage real consensual humiliation Serious Rated XXX Synopsis: A young girl reponds to an ad and then ambarks on a journey into submission with an older female 


This morning I started reading Sarah's Adventure by Sarah Scott on the BDSM Library despite the still happening troubles of that particular website.  At first, I was pleased by what I read.  Ms. Scott crafted two unique characters in a first person narrative that I felt had both depth and possibilities.  While her story suffered from lack of an editor and was rift with punctuation and wording errors, I thought the underlying structure of the story was relatively decent.

And then I came across a paragraph that felt oddly familiar.  In Chapter Three of Sarah's Adventure, the following paragraph is found:

       "Now listen further," Mistress Lucy went on. "When this paddle comes down, you're going to move for me. You're going to twist and you're going to groan. You're not going to struggle to get away from me. You wouldn't do that. And you're not going to take your hands from the back of your neck. And you're not going to open your mouth either. But you're going to twist and groan. You're going to bounce under my paddle, in fact. Because with every blow you are going to show me how you feel it, and how you appreciate it, and how grateful you are for the punishment you're receiving, and how much you know it's what you deserve. And if that is not exactly what happens, well...

As I've mentione, this sounded rather familiar and in fact, I actually recognized the passage. Here's the original:

 "Now listen further," Mistress Lockley went on.  "When this paddle comes down, you're going to move for me, Princess.  You're going to twist and you're going to groan.  You're not going to struggle to get away from me.  You wouldn't do that.  And you're not going to take your hands from the back of your neck.  And you're not going to open your mouth either.  But you're going to twist and groan.  You're going to bounce under my paddle, in fact.  Becaue with every blow you are going to show me how you feel it, and how you appreciate it, and how grateful you are for the punishment you're receiving, and how much you know it's what you deserve.  And if that is not exactly what happens, you will be dangling from the sign by the time the auction stops and the crowds come and the soldiers are ready for their first flagon of ale."

Some of you might also have recognized this passage.  It's on page 35 of Anne Rice's "Beauty's Punishment" and this isn't the only plagiarized scene in "Sarah's Adventure."  To be honest, I'm astonished anyone could possibly conceive the notion that they could steal another author's work, claim it to be their own, and at least in THIS genre, not expect us to recognize one of the founding pieces of BDSM literature as the sources.  Author Sarah Scott should be ashamed of herself for this disgusting theft.

I didn't bother to read through the rest of the 100 or so pages of "Sarah's Adventure" but a quick glimpse also showed me my favorite scene from Beauty's Punishment where Mistress Lockley binds Beauty to the kitchen island and proceeds to whip her front with a leather belt.  I'm sure I'd find other great scenes stuck between the foul tasting glue of Sarah Scott's narrative.

Normally I link back to an author's work, but in this case, you would be better served reading Anne Rice's Beauty series.  

*UPDATE* I received an email from Ms. Scott after this review was posted.  Her email and my reply are below.

 Hi,

I just read your post on your blog, and tried to reply but I didn't have any of the accounts listed to do so. I do want to apologize though, that your experience with the story wasn't what I had hoped it would be (or intended). The site that you got it from, neglected to post my little introduction, where I explicitly state that some parts of my story were "copied" from other sources, including the Beauty novels from Anne Rice... and that I was in no way taking credit for any of their work or putting it out there as my own. I was writing a true story, and sometimes if you recreate certain events, it's easier to copy and paste and interject your own than to write anew, and I'm the first to acknowledge that I was lazy in doing so. But that doesn't make it nay less true, my story, and if you read my more finished version of it, I'm sure you would be as pleased with it as you were with the beginning.

Sarah

My response:

Ms Scott,

Thank you for replying.  While I'm pleased to know that you did want to credit Ms. Rice for her work, it doesn't really change the fact that you "cut and paste" someone else's work into your narrative.  Ms Rice is an author and for every book she sells she's gets a small royalty fee.  If people "cut and paste" parts of her book out and insert them in their own story, Ms. Rice's work goes unrewarded, un recognized, and worse - credited to someone else.  As an author myself, I would be hopping mad if anyone took my work and proceeded to chop it up, using pieces of it blithely in their own story. 

Admittedly, I was also highly disappointed when I came across the plagiarized portion of your work.  Chapters 1 & 2, while error-ridden, were relatively well written.  Your use of the first person narrative mode was decent and I was actually intrigued by the events unfolding.  Had you merely paraphrased Rice, or even better, created your own narrative to tell the story, you would have had me hooked.  I liked the way you balanced dialog and action - all talents a real author possesses. 

I will "update" the review on my BDSM Review Blog with your response as well as my own, but my review stands as is.  While I understand your reasons for taking Ms. Rice's work, it doesn't make it right.  Should you wish me to review something original, please let me know. I'm willing to give your writing another chance.

Yours Faithfully,

Michael Alexander

Review: Her Master's Kiss by Vivien Sparx

"Her Master's Kiss" by Vivien Sparx, reviewed by Breanne Erickson.  

Deep in my heart, I'm a romantic. I admit it. I like the idea of love at first sight, the warm rush that comes from seeing someone look at you with a penetrating gaze, knowing that they see your very core, and not just your body.  I cry at the movies during the love scenes.  I'm a sucker for sob stories and my heart strings are easily played.

So reading "Her Master's Kiss" by Vivien Sparx was an adventure in emotional drama!  It's a story of a girl named Renee who doesn't seem to have much confidence in herself and after an emotional scene with her disappointed boyfriend, seeks out the aid of a professional master who trains women to be submissive. Master Stephen is cold, logical, and hard. Frankly, I would love to spend some time in HIS place. "Her Master's Kiss" focuses on the emotional and mental aspects of being submissive, almost becoming a primer for the mental adjustments necessary to put one's self in the correct mind frame to be a submissive as Vivien Sparx sees it.

This book is very different from the kinds of stuff that I write.  I'm a hedonist - it's all about the sexual physical pleasure, even the pain.  Vivien Sparx takes the master/submissive relationship in an entirely different way and I can't help but say I'm impressed.  There is one scene in the book which really struck me, right near the beginning, when Renee is standing there, so clearly and desperately aroused and she is told not to explode, that denying her needs is the first step to becoming submissive.  Her struggle and eventual mastery of that very emotional disconnect was amazing to me.  The character was able to remove herself from the immediate needs of her own body, in order to please her master.  Not that I plan on emulating the idea of course.  For me the submissive/mistress relationship is a challenge.  I'm a filly in need of breaking and I'll fight and struggle and be bad - because I WANT to be broken. I LIKE being broken.  And after I'm broken, I'll come back for another round just as ornery and naughty as before.

It's a very different psychological place to be I guess. I wonder how Master Stephen would deal with a girl like me?

And from there the romance flies and the plot thickens.  The lines between submissive and master blur as Renee forces Stephen to open up emotionally, accepting the punishment for speaking her mind, for refusing to obey orders as if she were me!  I won't tell you how it ends, but the climax of the story had me right there with them, feeling what Renee was feeling, sighing and whimpering and wet.

In general, I prefer a little bit more sexual physicality in my M/s stories, but "Her Master's Kiss" was a slow burn of sexual delight that brought even a girl like me satisfaction.  And now I'm ready for the sequel!  What's next?  I'll let you know!

Check out Vivien Sparx's "Her Master's Kiss" at Amazon.com and visit her blog at http://viviensparx.blogspot.com

Review: Reversi by lil nessa

 Story Codes: M/f job Hardcore Rated R Synopsis: Reversal of Roles; black becomes white. Reversi – a game of mind against mind, strategy is everything, winning and losing comes down to the very last move 

 
Recently I read "Reversi" by lil nessa on the BDSM Library.  I have to admit that it was an arousing little tale, the kind of thing one reads when wanting to get in the mood, rather than wanting fulfillment.  The story surrounds a secretary who accidentally hears her supervisor's partner giving commands, sexual ones, to someone on the phone, presumably his wife.  She doesn't reveal her eavesdropping though, and instead lets the knowledge percolate in her brain until finally she stays late and reveals her innermost thoughts to him - that she too wishes to be dominated.

As far as plots go, this one isn't exactly unique, but I've always maintained that plots are like peanut butter.  You may have had it before, but how much and what you put with it can make for a different eating experience practically every time.  In this particular case, I was quite pleased with the author's envisioning of the classic secretary gone bad concept.

From a grammatical perspective, the story was well written. I didn't see any major errors that distracted from the action and there was a sufficient complexity to the writing that added depth.  There was also a decent balance of description, action, and dialog, and I felt that each moved along the plot nicely. 

Where I did feel the story needed help was in the introduction of the protagonist.  The point of view became confused with dialog and then rather than giving us the thoughts of the secretary, she merely had a space in the narrative to indicate time had passed.  While later she did have the secretary explain, it came as a surprise that she had been experiencing mental... difficulties... with her own needs, stimulated by his phone conversation.  I would have liked to see some foreshadowing to indicate where she was headed.

I also felt the resolution to be rather contrived.  We suddenly shifted point of view to the man, and given his inner most thoughts, which were quite Machivellian.

In summary, I thought this was a very nice, sexually charged tale that certainly lit a fire, if not actually fueled it.  If you're looking for something to arouse yourself with, curl up with Reversi by lil nessa. 7 out of 10 stars.

READ "REVERSI" now at the BDSM Library!

Review: "My Birthday Gift" by Charles E. Campbell

Story Codes: MF/f exhibition modification Swallowing Tit Torture D/s BDSM real consensual reluctant Serious

Synopsis: A first person recounting of how a person's life was forever altered by a fortieth birthday gift

Recently I read Charles E. Campbell’s “My Birthday Gift” onthe BDSM Library.

It’s not often that I find a story that appeals directly to me.  Erotica authors in general write for themselves first, and their audience second.   This backward thinking makes some of the most strangest of stories, ones that appeal in limited directions.

“My Birthday Gift” is a story that, despite my not liking everything that happened in it, appealed to my senses.  Admittedly, it was a turn on, which is definitely the goal of every erotica author.  But beyond that, Mr. Campbell did a darned good job in expressing the feelings of the main character.  The emotionalism caught me up, wrapped around me, and intensified the eroticism of the tale.

From a grammatical perspective, “My Birthday Gift” is well written.  There were few if any errors that I saw that distracted from the overall narrative and the sentences were constructed well.  There was a decent mix of simple and complex sentences that added depth and complexity to the tale and punctuation was handled well.  It’s so nice to see someone ELSE who understands comma use.

But while “My Birthday Gift” was better than most of the drivel left at the doorstep of the BDSM Library, it wasn’t perfect.  First of all, the plot, while well executed and written, was just a tad bit unbelievable.  The wife, who gave herself completely to her husband, was instantly made a sex slave.  Her behavior, which I DID find believable, was predictable, since a good slave girl follows the orders of her master.  But I felt that Mr. Campbell really lost out on a good opportunity to create tension and varying levels of degradation for his protagonist.  I believe that he made the antagonist, the husband, too harsh and too extreme right from the start.  By taking it in gentle steps, the story could have been better timed to give the reader a steadily increasing sensation of tension, and allowing even more emotional turmoil to affect the wife.  With Mr. Campbell’s capability at writing, it would have been child’s play to make this short story into a major novella.

I also want to point out that Mr. Campbell wrote the piece, not only in first person, but from the female’s perspective.  I have to admire that. I’ve only done it once and I had help from Breanne Erickson, with the details. I don’t think like a woman and Mr. Campbell either had good advice, or is more savvy with womenfolk than I am.  He did it well.  I’ve articulated how difficult it is for even talented, experienced authors to use first person narrative, since it by necessity limits the descriptive process.  But Mr. Campbell pulls it off, and does it well.

In summary, “My Birthday Gift” was a beautiful little tale that only suffered from a timing problem.  The writing itself was of high quality, the sex and humiliation scenes well scripted, and all in all, a most pleasant diversion.  A definite 9 out of 10 stars!

Read “My Birthday Gift” by Charles E. Campbell at the BDSMLibrary!

Aurelie's Mexican Vacation by Darknessmonger and Aurelie Catena

Story Codes: M+/f snuff toys Swallowing Tit Torture BDSM bondage Rape real torture nc Extreme Synopsis: Aur�lie goes on a trip to meet someone she met online and shared sadistic fantasies. She slowly starts to find out that for him they are more than fantasies, and wonders if she will ever return to her country.

Back in August of 2011 I came across a story at the BDSM Library entitled Aurelie's Mexican Vacation.  At the time, it was a mere two chapters long and I granted serious kudos to the authors, darknessmonger and Aurelie Catena. At the time, I was very impressed with the opening of the story, despite the obvious intention that it was meant to be a serial.  In fact, I was so taken with the opening I penned a quick review (which you can read here), expressing my enjoyment of the story.

The reason I was so taken with Chapters 1 and 2 was because the authors had done a magnificent job setting up a plot line, setting, and establishing characters.  Aurelie was the little French girl on vacation from her home in France, visiting an online friend with whom she had shared some of her darker sexual desires.  Pablo, her Mexican paramour, seemed like a fun guy, who was not only willing to play into her darker extremes, but seemed interested himself.  The sexual tension built nicely, and I was looking forward to some serious Mayan sacrifice. 

And then things sort of fell apart.  For the rest of the story the authors decided to toss away everything they had built in the first two excellent chapters.  Pablo ends up subjecting Aurelie to abuses that go far beyond anything even a French girl could desire.  The sexual tension is dropped in order to make room for downright disgusting humiliation and torture.  And I'm not talking sexual torture here.  This isn't a girl in bondage being used, at least not mostly.  As I read the progressive chapters, I found my stomach turning.  Sliding her down into the hacienda's sewer system, bound and weighted is not sexual, even from a BDSM perspective.  The Mayan mythos, or even the "pirate" idea in the cave are dropped completely.

Worse, Pablo's torments of poor Aurelie go from simplistic to complicated and the authors don't quite manage to bring the visual imagery to fruition.  Bondage apparatus is poorly described and we barely get the idea before the action takes place.  Then there is Aurelie's condition, which goes beyond reasonable or even believable as she is basically used as everything from a toilet to a damn soccer ball.

Admittedly, if you are a hardcore enthusiast of extreme torture with little sexual appeal, the Aurelie's Mexican Vacation should appeal to you.  It's dark, I have to warn you, and I didn't find it terribly appealing, which bugs the hell out of me considering I liked it so much at the beginning.  I feel slightly betrayed by the authors, who had written a great opening, and then like a poorly thought out evening drama, didn't deliver. 

But hey, why take my word for it?  You can go read about the horrible things that happen to Aurelie yourself.  

Review: "Being Sold" by Penny Boat

 
Story Codes: M/f F/f exhibition incest Young toys BDSM slavery bondage reluctant humiliation Serious Synopsis: The story of how a girl is sold from her first master to her new one.

 Recently I read "Being Sold" by Penny Boat at the BDSM Library.  And it rocked.

Short and Powerful.

"Being Sold" isn't a short story. It's a vignette, and frankly, I want more.  Told from first person and with a style and creativity that made it fresh and sweet, "Being Sold" was definitely the sort of tale that is designed to stimulate, rather than appease.  It's foreplay, and despite the intensity of the actions in the story and the speed in which the plot unfolds, you will find yourself aroused and wanting by the end.

"Being Sold" is a first person narrative of a young girl who is on her way to "being sold."  She chronicles the last loving touch of her master, a man with dark tastes and knows quite well how to use her.  It's a tease, meant to stiffen one's resolve and wet the dark places of desire.

Grammatically the story is excellent. I didn't see any major errors and I felt the prose and vocabulary were in line with the character.  What I really admired in this piece however was what I term "anti-description".  Let me explain.  Every once in awhile I get to read an author who understands how it is possible to fully describe a character through action and intent, rather than providing actual description.  It's like circumstantial evidence painting the picture. The narrator, the girl being sold, is that center mass, a girl without description, yet after reading the story, I sensed I KNEW her.  That is magic.
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Even more impressive is that this was done from first person perspective.  Authors who write in first person necessarily limit the view of their "lens" to what the narrator of the story senses. They can not step outside that limitation.  So to paint such vivid pictures... it's an indication of high quality.
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So where does this story fail?  In length.  Perhaps the author meant to tease us.  Perhaps she knew that I'd be rock hard after reading this tiny little tale and that I'd go find my lovely wife after this and pretend I was going to sell her.  Perhaps she is like Orson Scott Card, who penned a short story entitled "Ender's Game", which later he was to expand into his one decent, award winning book. (God, I hope not!)  In any event, I war between wanting to chastise the author for making her tale so short, and to praise her for the decision.  Making it short deliberately as a tease is brilliant.
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In any event, I will be keeping a watch on Ms. Penny Boat.  I think it's a ride that will be well worth it.

Read "Being Sold" by Penny Boat!

Tales of a Nympho Humiliation Pain Slut Volume 5

We are pleased to announce Breanne Erickson's sixth novel length work, "Tales of a Nympho Humiliation Pain Slut Volume 5" was released today!  Breanne once again reveals the inner workings of a bi-sexual, BDSM, sex addict. Filled with humor, drama, and a touch of cynicism, Breanne delights readers with this fifth collection of her "Tales." Follow along on her sexual escapades as she reels from one orgasm to another. 

This novel is coded MF/f, BDSM, humiliation, toys, lesbian, public, real, 

Check out a free sample at our website or just go straight to Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble and buy your copy today!