Felicity Brandon's Hide & Seek

Let me start out this review by saying that I'm very disappointed in Felicity.

Her latest story is called Hide & Seek, is only sixteen pages in length and can be literally read in about twenty minutes.  It's priced at 99 cents, which is a relief since Felicity's publisher seems to normally think they can foist short to medium length stories off on the unsuspecting public as novels, with similar prices. (Note to Wildheart Books: 50k words makes a novel.) Even then Hide & Seek, due to its length, is only barely worth the coin.

That said, Hide & Seek itself showcases author Felicity Brandon's quality descriptive writing. She is articulate, understands timing and tension, and uses actions to reveal deeper motives within her characters. Hide & Seek, for all intents and purposes, is a short story designed to titillate the senses.  For what it is, I have to say that it has been written well.  It's arousing, intriguing, and delightfully playful, perfect for a little out loud reading while having your favorite subbie strapped down to something while a feather and your purple wand alternatively dance across their skin.  It's short enough that you can read it one session, and just fun enough that it can certainly prime the pump for whatever you and the previously mentioned subbie might get up to. 

But there are some negatives.  Hide & Seek is nothing but porn without plot.  It's a journal entry, written in first person (I did this) and then again in present tense (I write this), a narrative and tense mode I find absurdly simplistic unless combined with complicated plots or in-depth characters (and I don't mean the capacity to take a twelve inch long dildo when I mean depth.) The characters in Hide & Seek have no name and little to no description.  Everything is about the action and emotion of the main character, the submissive girl who likes to start off her sexual games by hiding from her lover like a recalcitrant child.  Even here I was disappointed.  Of all the fun games we played as children, an adult version sounds like something I'd like to try.  Unfortunately Hide & Seek quickly becomes a spanking game and has little to do with hiding or seeking.

I would have preferred meeting our main character out and about in a mall, fearfully looking over her shoulder, wondering if or when he will find her.  She darts into a clothing store, looking around, only to jump in shock as his hand closes down upon her arm.  She is found, and the punishment is a new toy for her to endure, a plug, nipple clamps, or a vibrator perhaps, and he takes a single article of clothing, leaving her something terribly slutty in exchange.  Then back out into the mall with a five minute head start. Now THAT'S a game of Hide & Seek.  End it with the spanking and sex and I'm hooked.

 I definitely think it's time for Felicity to get serious about her writing.  She's obviously a talented wordsmith who can craft a simple tale, but now I want to read something erotically charged with her unique turn of phrase and capacity at description, with a viable plot that isn't merely a description of a fun evening at home.  I need adventure, excitement... and purpose would be nice too.  For 99 cents I guess Hide & Seek is worth it, but be prepared for the quick dip in the pool this is.  Felicity is ready (and needs) to play more serious games than Hide & Seek.  Seven out of ten on this one.

You can get your copy of Felicity Brandon's Hide & Seek at Amazon.com.

Review: You Do the Crime, You Pay the Time - A.P. Damine

Noosed Beauty - HangNaked

Story Codes: M/f snuff reluctant Extreme Synopsis: A slave has greatly offended her Master. As punishment, he sent an executioner to fuck her in the ass and hang her. She decides to make the best of a bad situation. 

I just finished the incredibly short story "You Do the Crime, You Pay the Time" by A.P. Damien over at the BDSM Library.  Normally I wouldn't write a review for a story like this, but since the library's rating system is still down, I find myself even more motivated to leave feedback for authors.

The first thing I want to note about the story is that it is not in a standard format.  It's more of a dialog and thought recording between the girl and her executioner.  The author, A.P. Damien actually does a decent job in separating the thoughts and dialog between the two characters, using a combination of symbols, italics, and font color.  That said, it almost feels more like a script lacking set descriptions.  Very strange.

But despite the fact that there are no narrative descriptions, the author does a good job in using his characters to set the stage.  And it's not obvious either.  There's no "Oh look!  A noose that's made of soft rope attached to a boom arm that swings, underneath a small platform."  The descriptions are sufficient to provide a basic outline and the action of the story takes the reader along without need for anything more specific.  I like authors who can allow a reader's imagination to handle so much without making it a strain.

The characters themselves are simple, yet intriguing.  No one is named, except for absent Master Damien (the author himself?) who has ordered the events of the evening.  But while neither character has a name, their attitudes define them quite well, and since the author grants us private access into their thought processes, it opens up a relationship that feels deeper than the mere dialog would have provided.  

The plot is simple.  Slave girl has messed up and is sent, unknowingly, to her execution.  Master Damien has requested death by hanging, as well as having his "former" slave girl screwed in the rear.  The executioner is a gentle man, which is a sweet irony, and he pleasures her to orgasm before finally allowing the noose to cut of her air.

The story is ridiculously short, but it is sweet, and despite the funky format, has a lot going for it.  I'm going to give it a very strong 7 out of 10, and admit this almost made an 8.  

To read "You do the Crime, You do the Time" by A.P. Damien, click here.

Review: Reversi by lil nessa

 Story Codes: M/f job Hardcore Rated R Synopsis: Reversal of Roles; black becomes white. Reversi – a game of mind against mind, strategy is everything, winning and losing comes down to the very last move 

 
Recently I read "Reversi" by lil nessa on the BDSM Library.  I have to admit that it was an arousing little tale, the kind of thing one reads when wanting to get in the mood, rather than wanting fulfillment.  The story surrounds a secretary who accidentally hears her supervisor's partner giving commands, sexual ones, to someone on the phone, presumably his wife.  She doesn't reveal her eavesdropping though, and instead lets the knowledge percolate in her brain until finally she stays late and reveals her innermost thoughts to him - that she too wishes to be dominated.

As far as plots go, this one isn't exactly unique, but I've always maintained that plots are like peanut butter.  You may have had it before, but how much and what you put with it can make for a different eating experience practically every time.  In this particular case, I was quite pleased with the author's envisioning of the classic secretary gone bad concept.

From a grammatical perspective, the story was well written. I didn't see any major errors that distracted from the action and there was a sufficient complexity to the writing that added depth.  There was also a decent balance of description, action, and dialog, and I felt that each moved along the plot nicely. 

Where I did feel the story needed help was in the introduction of the protagonist.  The point of view became confused with dialog and then rather than giving us the thoughts of the secretary, she merely had a space in the narrative to indicate time had passed.  While later she did have the secretary explain, it came as a surprise that she had been experiencing mental... difficulties... with her own needs, stimulated by his phone conversation.  I would have liked to see some foreshadowing to indicate where she was headed.

I also felt the resolution to be rather contrived.  We suddenly shifted point of view to the man, and given his inner most thoughts, which were quite Machivellian.

In summary, I thought this was a very nice, sexually charged tale that certainly lit a fire, if not actually fueled it.  If you're looking for something to arouse yourself with, curl up with Reversi by lil nessa. 7 out of 10 stars.

READ "REVERSI" now at the BDSM Library!