Review: Reversi by lil nessa

 Story Codes: M/f job Hardcore Rated R Synopsis: Reversal of Roles; black becomes white. Reversi – a game of mind against mind, strategy is everything, winning and losing comes down to the very last move 

 
Recently I read "Reversi" by lil nessa on the BDSM Library.  I have to admit that it was an arousing little tale, the kind of thing one reads when wanting to get in the mood, rather than wanting fulfillment.  The story surrounds a secretary who accidentally hears her supervisor's partner giving commands, sexual ones, to someone on the phone, presumably his wife.  She doesn't reveal her eavesdropping though, and instead lets the knowledge percolate in her brain until finally she stays late and reveals her innermost thoughts to him - that she too wishes to be dominated.

As far as plots go, this one isn't exactly unique, but I've always maintained that plots are like peanut butter.  You may have had it before, but how much and what you put with it can make for a different eating experience practically every time.  In this particular case, I was quite pleased with the author's envisioning of the classic secretary gone bad concept.

From a grammatical perspective, the story was well written. I didn't see any major errors that distracted from the action and there was a sufficient complexity to the writing that added depth.  There was also a decent balance of description, action, and dialog, and I felt that each moved along the plot nicely. 

Where I did feel the story needed help was in the introduction of the protagonist.  The point of view became confused with dialog and then rather than giving us the thoughts of the secretary, she merely had a space in the narrative to indicate time had passed.  While later she did have the secretary explain, it came as a surprise that she had been experiencing mental... difficulties... with her own needs, stimulated by his phone conversation.  I would have liked to see some foreshadowing to indicate where she was headed.

I also felt the resolution to be rather contrived.  We suddenly shifted point of view to the man, and given his inner most thoughts, which were quite Machivellian.

In summary, I thought this was a very nice, sexually charged tale that certainly lit a fire, if not actually fueled it.  If you're looking for something to arouse yourself with, curl up with Reversi by lil nessa. 7 out of 10 stars.

READ "REVERSI" now at the BDSM Library!

Review: "My Birthday Gift" by Charles E. Campbell

Story Codes: MF/f exhibition modification Swallowing Tit Torture D/s BDSM real consensual reluctant Serious

Synopsis: A first person recounting of how a person's life was forever altered by a fortieth birthday gift

Recently I read Charles E. Campbell’s “My Birthday Gift” onthe BDSM Library.

It’s not often that I find a story that appeals directly to me.  Erotica authors in general write for themselves first, and their audience second.   This backward thinking makes some of the most strangest of stories, ones that appeal in limited directions.

“My Birthday Gift” is a story that, despite my not liking everything that happened in it, appealed to my senses.  Admittedly, it was a turn on, which is definitely the goal of every erotica author.  But beyond that, Mr. Campbell did a darned good job in expressing the feelings of the main character.  The emotionalism caught me up, wrapped around me, and intensified the eroticism of the tale.

From a grammatical perspective, “My Birthday Gift” is well written.  There were few if any errors that I saw that distracted from the overall narrative and the sentences were constructed well.  There was a decent mix of simple and complex sentences that added depth and complexity to the tale and punctuation was handled well.  It’s so nice to see someone ELSE who understands comma use.

But while “My Birthday Gift” was better than most of the drivel left at the doorstep of the BDSM Library, it wasn’t perfect.  First of all, the plot, while well executed and written, was just a tad bit unbelievable.  The wife, who gave herself completely to her husband, was instantly made a sex slave.  Her behavior, which I DID find believable, was predictable, since a good slave girl follows the orders of her master.  But I felt that Mr. Campbell really lost out on a good opportunity to create tension and varying levels of degradation for his protagonist.  I believe that he made the antagonist, the husband, too harsh and too extreme right from the start.  By taking it in gentle steps, the story could have been better timed to give the reader a steadily increasing sensation of tension, and allowing even more emotional turmoil to affect the wife.  With Mr. Campbell’s capability at writing, it would have been child’s play to make this short story into a major novella.

I also want to point out that Mr. Campbell wrote the piece, not only in first person, but from the female’s perspective.  I have to admire that. I’ve only done it once and I had help from Breanne Erickson, with the details. I don’t think like a woman and Mr. Campbell either had good advice, or is more savvy with womenfolk than I am.  He did it well.  I’ve articulated how difficult it is for even talented, experienced authors to use first person narrative, since it by necessity limits the descriptive process.  But Mr. Campbell pulls it off, and does it well.

In summary, “My Birthday Gift” was a beautiful little tale that only suffered from a timing problem.  The writing itself was of high quality, the sex and humiliation scenes well scripted, and all in all, a most pleasant diversion.  A definite 9 out of 10 stars!

Read “My Birthday Gift” by Charles E. Campbell at the BDSMLibrary!